by Maghalie Rochette

Normally, the first race of the season is a bit nerve racking. You wonder how your summer preparation will translate into racing. You wonder how fast your competitors will be.I thought this year would be different, I thought I would not feel the nerves as much because I knew that my preparation was not optimal. If you've followed the previous newsletters, you may know that I've been struggling with my health ever since I got Covid in July. July. That was a long time ago but damn this thing lingered in me... I struggled with my health, which translated in barely being able to train 40% of what I normally do.

With that in mind, I kind of knew that I wouldn't be tearing it up in the first races. Yet, another kind of stress creeped up. About a week before we left to the races, I started being super scared. Having won most of the previous North American races, I felt like I was expected to win. What if I go and I am not even competitive? What will people think of me? What will my sponsors think? It sounds superficial, but I was terrified. Yet, I still really wanted to go, because I love racing cyclocross for the fun of it...not just because I like winning.

Once I admitted to myself that I was scared, suddenly things became clearer. I decided that I would go and that I'd use this situation as an opportunity to grow. Can I practice making decisions for myself and not care about other people's opinion? Can I try to race smarter and technically better to compensate for my lack of fitness? Can I find the joy of racing for the pure simplicity of it? Those would be the goals. Plus, as soon as I opened up to my sponsors about the health challenges I had been going through, they were all extremely supportive, which helped taking some pressure off.

Another wrench in the spokes
Just as we were getting ready to leave for the first race in Roanoke, both David and I got another wrench in our spokes. We were already not in great shape, but to make things even more fun, we both got a solid bout of food poisoning. Yay!

At that point, it was almost laughable how ill prepared we would be. So we decided to focus on great vibes! And it is with great vibes, but with very little food & energy in my stomach and legs that I showed up to the start line. I felt a bit nervous. Somehow, I still wanted to do well, but I didn't know what to expect, However, when they said 30 seconds to go, I suddenly felt at peace. I placed my pedal like I always do, I looked up, breathed, and felt ready to go race. I felt at home, and that made me smile! I do really love racing!

The race went as one would expect...not great. In short, I started okay, and had fun following wheels and playing in the front group for 2 laps. It was HOT out. After about 15 minutes, my food-deprived muscles started being super weak, and my energy floundered. I wanted to go faster but couldn't. I rode on the course and focused on technique. With 2 laps to go, I got passed by a group (from 5th-9th position). I didn't have the power to stay with them, but if I rode technically really well, I could keep them in touch. With 3 minutes to go, I used the last little bit of energy I had to put 1 solid effort and was able to pass and beat my group to secure 5th place.

5th place is not what I was hoping to do, but honestly, I'm happy with my race. I had fun, I worked on my skills...one step in the right direction! However, I felt so completely exhausted & weak after the race (and the next day) that I decided to not race on Day 2.

By not racing, it was a chance for me to practice making decisions for myself, and not care about other's opinion. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to join the race commentator on the microphone and announce the Women's race! I had so much fun -- turns out those races are FUN to watch!

In the end, we were far from winning the weekend, but we are still leaving feeling happy and more motivated for the next one.

I’m proud I decided not to race, too, because this morning I feel much better. There is no performance without health, and now that I feel more healthy, I’ll slowly be able to work towards building fitness...hopefully!

It’s a long season! I’m excited to see how I can progress through it. And being able to have fun and enjoy the sport even when I'm not performing feels really cool...and somehow, I think this realization can be really powerful.

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