font size="1" face="Comic Sans MS"> photo affichée sur Instagram par Gabrielle Pilote

by Gabrielle Pilote

I wasn’t prepared for this, let me tell you. After 12 years of being a procyclist, the thought of doing something else was/is not easy to proces…

Why, you may ask; well, when I came to consider my options, I realized I’d have to lose my integrity to pursue in the sport, and I wasn’t willing to do that.

I love cycling, don’t get me wrong, but as I started to get disillusioned about how suffocating and fake the world of professional cycling was, I began to forget my why and forget about how much I actually loved going on my bike. I used to say "The day I stop, I’ll never ride a road bike again " and the reality is, the day I stopped, I realized how the pain of being deceived so many times by team managers, teammates, and DS had led me to forget the feeling of riding freely. Cycling had become a looong grinding game, and I came out totally drained.

So I finally surendered, decided not to go after it anymore and explore something new, allow myself to be a naive beginner and a completely different sport.

I had been thinking about trail running for quite some time, but the thought of transitioning scared the shit out of me. It’s hard to accept I am not an elite *yet, and I have to learn, prove myself, and try to make it!

I’m still shit scared, it’s a very tough sport. Sorry to all my fellow cyclists, but riding a bike at the top level is SO MUCH EASIER.

Every day, I go out and train/try to become a trail runner, I get more and more humble. It feels as though I never even trained in my life (Said the girl who raced in the @letourfemmes this summer)

How do I feel? It’s hard not to see this as a failure. Having a new goal gave me so much more energy. I am thrilled despite the painful feelings of doubts and what-ifs that race through my brain, day in and day out.

Why did I take so long to say anything?

Because the process of moving on and being ok with my decision is mine and I didn’t feel like sharing it!

But I get how my content has become a bit confusing so I figured It was about time!

I hope y’all continue to follow me in this new chapter :)

And I hope that this inspires you to say, FUCK IT and just jump straight in something scary instead of staying in a bad place just because it feels comfortable! (TBH, I should have never postponed my surgery and just changed environment right away… but eh! Live and learn

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